Aliveness Revealing Itself

I remember holding the glass of water with reverence and anticipation, as I prepared to take my first sip of water in over two weeks. I held the glass to my lips and took a small tentative sip in order to savor the experience. The water felt cool and soothing to both body and mind. I held the sip in my mouth briefly and then enjoyed the refreshing feeling as the water slowly trickled down my throat—bringing me back into direct contact with my life force.

It felt so unbelievably good just to be alive, being in intensive care after surviving the car crash that totaled my car—leaving the passenger seat side of the car touching the dashboard with just enough space on my side for me to bounce off the steering wheel and take a helicopter ride to the hospital.

Near death experiences have a way of calling us out to take stock of the numbness and disconnect that have crept into our life and been pinching off our vitality.

Anita Moorjani recounts such a story in her book Dying to Be Me. Battling cancer for four years left her body with cancer growths the size of lemons and her organs shutting down. While in a coma, she was able to access her own deep soul wisdom and understand what had caused her to withdraw her will to live. She also understood what she had to do to reconnect with her passion to live and to reconnect with her aliveness. After that she came back to consciousness and astonished her doctors by having a complete recovery in record time.

What is really happening to us when we start shutting down the life force and no longer feeling alive and authentic in life?

In Anita’s story above she had the realization that, as she worked so hard to please her family and mixed cultural expectations, she was getting farther and farther away from her real authentic self. That disconnect was enough to turn joy into struggle and obligation. Feeling cut off from her own aliveness allowed disease to take over.

The good girl/good boy syndrome can wire us to constantly disappoint ourselves, while working unbelievably hard not to disappoint others. Upon examination of my own attraction of a near death experience, I could see that my feelings of betrayal and disappointment in life stemmed from my own inability to stay connected with asking for what allowed me to really feel alive in life.

It is hard to feed our aliveness when most of the news we get focuses on problems and difficulties in life. How can we stay connected to our exuberance and enthusiasm for life, when we are constantly bombarded with negativity every day?

When Nelson Mandela was in prison, his daily routine included visits from a guard with instructions to torture him each day. Over a period of time Nelson Mandela befriended the guard by asking him questions about his family and his life. Gradually the guard began to soften and no longer felt comfortable causing pain to his new friend.

After leaving prison later Nelson Mandela said,
“I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I would still be in prison.”

Can it be that we are trapped in duality and separation consciousness and that we ourselves construct our own prisons that separate us from our innate natural enthusiasm for life and loving connection with others? How is it that people that seem to have the perfect life can still feel unhappy and disconnected from what brings true aliveness? And what about the people in today’s world who are choosing jihad – the willingness to die for an idea over really living a joyfully connected life? Would that be the ultimate definition of rejecting aliveness?

When the Taliban in Pakistan singled out young 15-year-old Malala and shot her in the head, were they supporting their aliveness or their deadness? Were fear and conflict all they had to live for? Was their only claim to aliveness wrapped up in their vendetta to continue the cycle of killing and alienation?

Malala miraculously recovered and went on to become the youngest person to win the Nobel Peace prize last year at the age of 17. Malala used her experience to step into her full power of being, fueled by a desire to use her story to help others.

Like both Nelson Mandela and Anita Moorjani, Malala showed us how to use the challenges and adversity in life to reach out to help others and remain connected to our passion for life by striving to serve the highest good of all.