What Is the Role of a Spiritual Teacher or Mentor?
By Nirmala
In general, a teacher or mentor is a person who guides, instructs, or helps another in the process of gaining knowledge, understanding, or skills. What about a spiritual teacher or mentor? What is their role? And more specifically what does a spiritual teacher or spiritual mentor in the nondual or Advaita tradition do?
A spiritual teacher/mentor’s role is unique in that the goal is not to transmit knowledge or understanding as much as it is to somehow bring about a recognition in the student of the student’s own pre-existing nature. This is a much more subtle thing than simply teaching someone a skill or understanding. It is not that a spiritual teacher never provides spiritual teachings or knowledge or understanding, but that knowledge or understanding by itself is not the goal. A student can have a broad knowledge of spiritual principles, and yet can still not have truly recognized those principles as being inherent in his or her own being. So spiritual teachers or mentors may teach a lot or they may not teach anything, depending on what the student needs in that moment to experience this deeper recognition of their own true nature.
This may seem like a subtle distinction between the role of a spiritual teacher and a regular teacher, but it makes a huge difference. The regular teacher usually has something specific to transmit, and there is often an implied assumption that the student will have more understanding or be better off when the teaching is completed. But the spiritual teacher is pointing to something that is already present in the student. It is like teaching someone to have shoulders. You can’t really teach the having of shoulders to someone who already has shoulders! But you can make them more aware of the shoulders they already have.
In the case of an Advaita or nondual spiritual teacher, the teacher or mentor is pointing to the most fundamental qualities of the student’s already existing nature, specifically, the qualities of oneness, awareness, and emptiness. Advaita means not two and is referring to the mysterious oneness of all existence. Fundamentally there is only one substance of reality that everything is made of, including the teacher and the student.
Some take this fundamental truth of our nature to mean that there can be no such thing as a teacher or mentor, or a student for that matter. If it’s all one, then distinctions or differences are taken to be meaningless illusions, including the difference between a teacher/mentor and a student/mentee. Yet. while ultimately all appearance is temporary and, therefore, not fundamental to our being, our being exists on many levels, not just on the absolute level of our ultimate nature. It also expresses on this relative level where there is an apparent teacher and an apparent student. And these roles function on the relative level until students have recognized their true nature and there is nothing left to teach them.
So the teaching function of a spiritual teacher operates on the relative level until it’s simply no longer needed because the student has realized his or her deeper nature. There’s nothing wrong with this functioning, and there’s no need to take the identity as a teacher or as a student too seriously. It’s a quirk of our language that we turn concepts that are actually best expressed as a temporary verb into the implied permanence of a noun. Someone whose function is to provide medical care becomes a “doctor,” which is just a conceptual way of expressing the association of that function with that person. It’s not a permanent or fundamental quality of their true identity. Similarly, spiritual teaching and mentoring is simply a function that sometimes serves in our spiritual unfoldment. It’s not a fundamental part of anyone’s true nature and is not any more real or unreal than any other functioning of our relative lives. One way this is expressed is that not everyone who realizes their true nature is also equipped to be, or even interested in being, a spiritual teacher.
There are some practical considerations in the choosing of and working with a spiritual teacher. There are qualities one would expect to find in someone who is truly serving this function of pointing to the deeper truth of Being. Unfortunately, there are many examples of teachers that don’t always live up to the ideal. While even a poor teacher may serve someone’s spiritual unfoldment, it’s just common sense to use some discrimination. As a starting point you can view this list of qualities one can look for. In this age of abundant information available on the web, it can’t hurt to do a search and thoroughly explore other people’s experiences and perspectives of any spiritual teacher you may wish to be involved with, while keeping in mind that any individual’s experience expressed on the internet is colored by their own conditioning and particular experience.
Lastly, there’s the question of surrender and/or devotion to the spiritualteacher. Is it necessary to completely give up all control and direction to the spiritual teacher in order to receive the deepest benefit of their teaching? In a word the answer is no. It’s not necessary. It does sometimes serve especially within the context of a long term committed relationship with a particular teacher who is of the highest level of integrity, but it’s not absolutely necessary. All of the true nature being pointed to is already present in the student. There is nothing that the teacher has to give you or take from you for the recognition of this deeper nature to occur. Anytime there is a surrender or insistence on total devotion, there is also equally a danger of misuse and abuse of that power. Beware of any teacher who demands this kind of total surrender. The truth can be freely given, as it is limitless, and doesn’t need to be guarded or doled out only to a few.
However, there is another form of devotion or love that can naturally arise within the teacher/student relationship which is the immense gratitude that arises when the truth is seen. And while ultimately, every experience is our teacher and with the fullest realization there is gratitude for all of existence, there can also be a natural deep appreciation for the apparent person who has pointed you to that truth. It’s a strange kind of gratitude as you are grateful to them for everything and nothing, but it is there nonetheless. So if there is a human teacher, there may be this gratitude and love that arises in response to the gift of spiritual teaching they have shared with you. But of course at that point there is no need for surrender or giving up of control, and a true teacher or spiritual mentor doesn’t need devotion or surrender from anyone, even if it does arise.
The true spiritual teacher is here simply to serve your own recognition of your true nature. The final measure of his or her functioning in this capacity is the degree of your own depth of realization. The rest is relatively unimportant unless it serves this simple but subtle goal.
This article originally appeared on the website Endless Satsang.
Nirmala is an Advaita Spiritual Teacher offering satsang and mentoring in the Advaita tradition of nondual spiritual teachings. He has worked with thousands of individuals all over the world to help them open their hearts and awaken to their true nature. He is the author of several books, including Living from the Heart.
We were first given to. I was given my life, you were given yours. We were each given the ability to love as a fundamental ability of that life. I was given freedom of choice and so many gifts. These same gifts have been given to you. Having received, it is now our responsibility to give. Until we learn to give we are unlikely to receive, especially spiritually.
As a person learns to be compassionate, they make space to receive kindness. In the same way as you forgive it becomes easier for others to forgive you. Allowing your true feelings to flow opens the door to receiving. As you love others you give love an opportunity to liberate. As you love your own soul, your own being, your own presence love becomes part of you. Now is the time to give, to give to yourself and of yourself. Do not wait for an opportunity to arrive, the occasion is always present. The time to love is here and now. Your spirit, your very essence is healed as you do so. It is not selfish to re-unite with your soul. A wounded soul needs your love to restore it.
There is no scarcity of love, it is free, it is plentiful and to be found anywhere and everywhere. It is within, nearby and afar. It is here now, this very instant. It is throughout and beyond. We are never alone. My problem is that during my temporary stay here on planet earth I have clouded my ability to see love’s clarity. I have been neglecting love who is my companion. It is not within the spirit of love to hide and be unavailable to anyone, for why would that be so? Love has no requirement to be veiled for that is not its essence. Love does not hide. It can only be me who has made myself remote from love. Each of us is alike, it is the same for you, the same for all.
Love cannot help but give of itself for that is its nature. Frequently we do not recognise this and we become blinded by our inability to see. On another occasion we may be blinded by love, by its beauty, by its brilliance. Where you or I do not see peace today, we may find peace tomorrow. The same is true of all the aspects of love. As I forgive I am forgiven. You and I as individuals may find it difficult to reduce the conflict on our planet, but we are responsible for peace within our own hearts.
Although love is not hidden, in order to see it and be in its presence, we are required to seek it out by opening the eyes of our souls and then, finding it, stay within that place. Love will assist, that is its nature. It is not for me just to sit back and let love do the work for me, it is my job and yours, to initiate this reunion by achieving our home coming back to kindness, compassion, peace and joy so that we again find our true selves.
Our egotistical self is not our real being. As I pick love as my powerful and comforting partner I may always ask for its assistance. Love will not and cannot reject me for its pattern is to give and forgive. Our efforts will always be rewarded. It is a case of “give and be given to” rather than saying give to me first and then I will give. I am, and so are you, to make this move of reconciliation and be loving. Thus we may re-unite with a mighty giving and forgiving presence.
If you do not find peace in your own home, your own kitchen, your own inner self, what chance planet earth? For the sake of all, the path to peace is yours to take.
Love and all its ingredients such as kindness, forgiveness and truth are free. We may access its compassion wherever we are, within and without, for it is ever present and ever a present awaiting to be opened. We only need to practise our willingness to achieve its companionship. The task of every human is to actively look for and seek the company of love in every situation. Love is to again immerse us as we devote ourselves to renewing our relationship. What better cause can there be in life than to love? It is time to re-discover love, it is the reason for life and death. My soul is love and yearns my return, we have been separated too long. We all forget and we have left our souls in darkness. The moment is now to renew this spiritual association.
In the beginning we are love, what has happened since? How come I no longer recognize my beginning? Where have I hidden my truth? I have become so remote. I seem to have difficulty distinguishing my own spiritual self, my own reality. I associate with my ego in preference to my soul. I no longer recognise my true nature. I have deeply buried myself and hidden my real being, buried behind so many disguises. I have been so calculating with my cleverness that I no longer recognize who I am. I have lost contact with my soul. So have you.
How come I let others advise me about my feelings? How come I let the world I perceive, the material world, tower over me and my relationship with my soul? How is it that I have ignored my very core, my essence, my presence? How come I have shut myself down from love? How come we fail to demonstrate thankfulness, to forgive, to be caring, comforting and to show concern for others? How come we judge and fail to be truthful and gentle? Where is our hope, our humility? We have lost touch in these matters and love escapes us. The time is now to return to kindness, joy, light, mercy, peace, thankfulness, tolerance, truth, wisdom and all things loving; for you and for me. We are all related, we are related by love; we have forgotten.
Now is my chance to again be with my soul. It is not within my power to change yesterday, nor am I able to surely predict tomorrow, but by living love in the “now”, in this instant, then I become more accepting and less judging. Love will love me for that. Similarly for you, by giving, you receive. By showing care, you will receive. Forgiving self, forgiving others and being forgiven is what your soul yearns. Love is who you are, allow its company. Love will remain with those who are prepared to forgive and be at peace. Now is the time to do this, it is never too late.
As I receive love I may pass it on to others, as I do so I may immediately be replenished. But not giving is being apart and I will not have made space for love within. As I again allow myself to love and be loving, I am thankful. I am not to ask to whom shall I give, I am just to give. It is not for me to judge whether I should give to the perceived rich or poor. The sun does not ask “For whom am I giving light?” the sun just gives light. The tree does not ask, “For whom am I giving shade?” it just gives shade. Similarly it is for me to give. Give freely so I may receive freely. Practise giving and be thankful. Give with joy in the heart. Give of the soul rather than the mind, give spiritually. Today is given to us for giving. I may find it easy to offer love to some and more difficult to others. I am to practise for all are equal; all are souls as I am, journeying on this planet. I am offered the consciousness of love as my companion, why would I reject it?
My giving is just to be giving, not with any attachment. Should I give with a condition, it becomes something other than a gift. To say “I will give you this, if you do or allow that”, that is a trade rather than a gift. Love is not a trading commodity. Similarly love cannot be: “I’ll love you if you do this” for that is manipulation and such exploitation is no longer loving. The gift of love is freedom, love itself is free. Love is. Just allow love, for this recognition brings peace and understanding. Today our world needs peace and acceptance and I hear many say “There’s nothing I can do.” But there is something you may do! You may assist by becoming peaceful and kind, within your soul and outwardly in your daily life. Re-unite with your soul.
Imagine if we all did just that!